A lot of emotions rise to the surface after being dumped. It can leave a person feeling sad, lonely, confused, rejected and left with a sense that you’ll never find anyone again. People tend to think, “If that person couldn’t stick it out with me, then who will?” However, most of the time, it’s irrational worry. There are more than a few billion people on the planet to choose from, you just gotta put yourself out there. But that’s a hard thing to hear when your feelings are still raw.
A study reported by The New York Times found that today, the old “plenty of fish in the sea” cliche is growing truer by the day. We are nearing a point where there will be more unmarried adults in the U.S. than those who have tied the knot. The most recent Census data shows the share of American adults who were neither married nor living with a significant other had risen to 46.4%. That lines up with the demographics of dating app users; about 63% of the millions and millions of users are over 30.
So good news for you single folks, the dating pool just keeps getting deeper. Still, that doesn't mean it feels that way when you're in the thick of it.
First dates are intimidating, especially as we get older.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
In 2020, Kelsey Huse, a software engineer from Austin, Texas, broke up with her boyfriend and at the age of 30, felt like she was never going to meet anyone again.
It's an understandable feeling. Our culturally accepted notion of love is that you're going to meet the love of your life in college or your early 20s. After that, you'll be lucky to settle for companionship. Huse wanted to know if there was any hope in her future.
“My bf broke up with me this week and I just wanna hear happy stories of ppl who found their partner in their 30s thanks,” she wrote on X.
Huse received an avalanche of responses from people who shared pictures and stories about how they met their special people in their 30s and later, giving her plenty of hope for the future. Her tweet went mega-viral earning nearly 7,000 retweets and 150,000 likes.
Here are some of the best responses.
"I strongly believe getting married in your 20s should be illegal. Sort of kidding, but I met my husband at 32 at a funeral. We make each other laugh just by being ourselves. He is the kindest person I know. We celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary this year," one user wrote.
"I met my wife in my 30’s and we got married in our 40’s. Love her," added another.
Stories poured in by the dozens to prove that, yes, it really is possible to not only date close to and after 30, but to find love, and even to find the love of your life.
That's not to say that dating after 30 doesn't have its challenges and differences. Experts recommend re-evaluating your approach as you get older. In your 30s it's probably time to ditch the games and be more direct about what you want. Don't waste time with people who don't want the same things in life and love as you, but you'll also have to learn to give people some grace and patience — everyone has scars and warts at this age, including you.
Huse couldn't believe the incredible responses she received and better yet, that they really did lift her spirits.
Yes, even us elder-millennials can meet someone new and fall in love at any point in life.
Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash
Huse may not have known it at the time, but breaking up at 30 may have been a blessing in disguise. Studies show that people who get married later in life have better mental health than those who get hitched at a younger age.
According to family ecology researcher Matt Johnson, those who married at the same age as or later than their peers reported higher levels of happiness and self-esteem—and less depression—than those who married early.
"People who marry early tend not to get as much education, have kids earlier than is optimal, and as a result get locked into careers they hadn't aspired to. In mid-life they're a little more depressed—or have a lower sense of self-worth—not because they violated some societal norm, but because they started down the path to family life early,” Johnson said.
Huse's story shows that there is no time frame for love and that it’s possible to find the perfect person well after the age of 30. It also shows that even though Twitter/X gets a deserved bad rap for being a pretty hostile environment, every once in a while people come together to do something beautiful.
This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.
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Tinder is the top dating app in the United States.
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Danielle Sutherland poses with her fiancé Josh and her third grade class at Old Bonhomme Elementary School.Courtesy of Ladue Schools Communications Department
Josh proposes to Old Bonhomme Elementary School third grade teacher Danielle Sutherland.Courtesy of Ladue Schools Communications Department
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